What Is Al-Anon, And How Can It Benefit Loved Ones Impacted By Alcoholism?

Alcohol use disorder (AUD), formerly called alcoholism, is a medical condition typically characterized by a limited ability to control or reduce alcohol use, even when it impacts a person’s health and social life. AUD may impact not only the person with the disorder, but also their family members, friends, and support network. For families or friends affected by another person’s alcohol use, it can be important to take steps to improve mental health and well-being. 

Perhaps few others understand the impact of alcohol use disorder better than those closest to a person living with AUD. For these individuals, joining a support group like Al-Anon can aid recovery and reduce mental and social impacts. In this article, we will explore what Al-Anon is and how connecting with a support network can benefit loved ones impacted by another person’s AUD.      

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What is Al-Anon, and how can it help friends of people with alcohol use disorder?

Al-Anon is a support group specifically designed for the family members and friends of people living with AUD. Alcohol use disorder may be considered a family illness, and while Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) supports individuals recovering from alcohol addiction, Al-Anon focuses on those who are affected by someone else’s drinking, even if that person is not seeking treatment or in recovery. Like AA, Al-Anon meetings are usually self-supporting, with Al-Anon members leading and participating in each meeting. 

While attending Al-Anon, participants may work on improving their communication skills, practicing detachment and changed attitudes, and connecting with others facing similar challenges. This can reduce isolation while providing families with added hope during challenging times. Common challenges addressed during Al-Anon meetings include boundaries and guilt, allowing members to share the strategies that have been effective in their experience.  

Who is an Al-Anon or Alateen meeting for?

Al-Anon to support friends and family impacted by another person’s alcoholism 

Al-Anon groups are open to anyone impacted by another person’s alcohol use. This could include the following individuals: 

• Spouses or partners of people with alcohol use disorder
• Parents or guardians of individuals struggling with alcohol misuse
• Adult children of alcoholics (often called ACoAs)
• Siblings, grandparents, or other relatives affected by a loved one's drinking
• Friends, coworkers, or roommates who are impacted emotionally, mentally, or financially by someone’s alcohol use
• Anyone who feels confused, hurt, stressed, or overwhelmed about someone else’s drinking

Who can attend Alateen meetings?

Alateen meetings are structured like Al-Anon meetings. However, they are designed for teens ages 13 to 18. These meetings may be peer-led with the presence of adult sponsors for guidance. By connecting with other teenagers, groups may focus on topics that impact teens related to others’ alcohol misuse. Digital options may allow for worldwide fellowship with other teens impacted by loved ones’ alcohol use disorder symptoms. 

Should you seek support? Online adult quiz for friends and loved ones

For individuals who are unsure about whether they need support, a quiz may be available to identify whether support is needed. These quizzes can be completed online and may be a place to start when seeking a support group. However, online quizzes may not always be accurate, and individuals can seek support regardless of their scores.

What can an adult quiz tell you? 

Al-Anon offers a self-assessment quiz that can help individuals reflect on the ways in which someone else’s drinking may be impacting their lives. The quiz isn’t a diagnostic tool, but it can be useful in offering clarity by highlighting patterns and emotional effects that people often overlook or minimize. The quiz may also help individuals identify the severity of stress or anxiety symptoms related to another person’s alcohol misuse. 

Limitations of online quizzes for supporting friends of those with alcohol use disorder

While a quiz or self-assessment can be helpful as a starting point, there are limitations to what an online quiz can tell a person. Due to the self-reported nature of these quizzes, they are inherently subjective and may not always be accurate. These quizzes are not intended to diagnose or treat any mental health conditions related to alcohol use. 

How does Al-Anon work, and how can you find an Al-Anon group? 

Al-Anon meetings function as support groups where all are welcome. To join an Al-Anon meeting, a person can simply show up and listen. There is no need to speak or share at a meeting unless a person feels comfortable doing so. Within the group, each member may have a different lived experience related to AUD or alcohol misuse. Research suggests that attending meetings regularly for at least six months tends to lead to the best outcomes, including better coping skills related to the other person’s alcohol use, reduced physical or verbal abuse victimization, an increased ability to function in daily life, and enhanced well-being.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Structure of an Al-Anon meeting

Al-Anon meetings typically use a version of the 12 Steps that is similar to the one used in Alcoholics Anonymous, but it is focused on healing from the emotional and relational effects of living with or caring about someone who is experiencing alcohol use disorder. Common themes at a meeting may include letting go of the need for control, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and finding personal happiness.

It may be important to understand that Al-Anon is not therapy and that a therapist is not present at meetings. Members are never required to speak or share, and it is okay to just listen to others. These meetings are free and anonymous, with members usually only sharing their first names. Because there is no cost to attend, Al-Anon tends to be accessible to people from many different backgrounds.

Strategies to find an Al-Anon or Alateen meeting

Individuals searching for an Al-Anon or Alateen meeting can generally find them online through the Al-Anon Family Groups website. Various regions may also have an Al-Anon helpline or office that can walk you through finding a meeting that fits your needs. There may be multiple meetings near you, and attending a few meetings in different locations can be beneficial before deciding on a group to attend regularly. 

Impacts of alcoholic tendencies on loved ones

Alcohol use disorder and alcohol misuse can impact friends and family members in several ways. Impacts can vary in type and severity depending on many factors and personality traits. These impacts can affect a person’s relationships, social life, and mental health. 

Relationship impacts of alcoholic tendencies

Alcohol use disorder can contribute to unpredictability and mood swings, and loved ones may sense that they are unable to predict what mood the other person will be in on any given day. A person with AUD may experience rapidly changing attitudes or emotions, going from happy and light-hearted to angry or sad in a short period. This can make it hard to communicate with them and may decrease vulnerability and trust, although updated research may be needed. 

Social impacts

Friends and family members may find it challenging to socialize with a person who has AUD. Alcohol generally lowers inhibitions and can lead to verbal fights, aggression, or inappropriate outbursts in social settings. This behavior may lead friends to avoid spending time together, and partners may opt for isolation rather than risk being embarrassed in public. 

Mental health impacts

In addition to negatively impacting the relationships and social lives of friends and family members, AUD may also have significant mental health impacts on a person’s support network. For those close to a person experiencing AUD, there may be additional stress and anxiety, as well as a sense of being helpless and on alert. Loved ones may internalize the challenges and behaviors of a person living with AUD, which can increase guilt and shame. In some cases, loved ones of people with AUD may develop depression or anxiety disorders that could benefit from professional treatment.  

Supporting friends who experience alcoholism

Supporting a friend who is experiencing alcoholism can be incredibly challenging, but compassion and boundaries can make a difference. The first step to supporting a friend living with AUD may be education. By learning about the disorder and listening without judgment, friends and family members may begin to effectively support their loved ones. 

For supportive friends and family members, it can be important to develop healthy boundaries and avoid enabling behaviors. This may mean setting limits, such as refusing to lend money, not covering up or making excuses for the individual’s drinking, and leaving situations when they become unsafe. Enabling behavior generally refers to actions that unintentionally support a person's drinking or substance use. Common enabling behaviors may include bailing the person with AUD out of the consequences of their alcohol use and minimizing the severity of their behavior. 

Strategies for improving mental health

Although Al-Anon can be a way to receive support and connect with a community of others facing similar challenges, other strategies may improve mental health as well. For example, maintaining a structured daily routine can reduce anxiety and stress and may include elements of mindfulness, such as meditation or journaling. 

In addition to incorporating a routine, it may be beneficial to make lifestyle changes that include getting daily exercise, maintaining nutritious eating habits, and getting enough sleep. Daily exercise can involve walking, swimming, or yoga, among many other options. Regular exercise can reduce anxiety and symptoms of depression. Eating habits and sleep can also help a person feel their best and more effectively regulate their emotions, which can help individuals manage daily challenges.

Is a loved one living with alcohol use disorder?

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Connecting with a mental health professional

Individuals who are impacted by another person’s alcohol use may benefit from connecting with a mental health professional. A therapist can evaluate, diagnose, and treat mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression. However, it’s not necessary to have a diagnosable disorder to seek help. 

It can be challenging for busy individuals to attend in-person therapy sessions at a brick-and-mortar office. Online therapy sessions can take place from any location with a personal device and an internet connection. This means that you can get the care and support you deserve with added convenience, and you can also choose between video, audio, and online chat sessions to suit your comfort levels.

Research suggests that online therapy can be an effective way to improve mental health and reduce anxiety or depression, which are common conditions experienced by loved ones of people with AUD. Whether you prefer in-person or online care, don’t hesitate to reach out for support.