Attachment Styles And Mental Health: What Is Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment?

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Understanding the intricacies of human connection often leads back to the earliest years of life. A person’s relationships with their primary caregivers can leave a lasting imprint that influences the ability to trust, love, and form emotional bonds in adulthood. 

Whether someone is seeking better communication, more meaningful emotional intimacy, or a more secure attachment style, understanding attachment styles and their impact on adult mental health can shed light on emotional patterns that may have previously gone overlooked. In this article, we will explore adult attachment styles, how they form, and their lifelong impacts on mental health.

What are attachment styles? 

At its core, an attachment style refers to an individual’s way of relating to others, particularly in close relationships. These patterns typically originate in early childhood and form through repeated interactions with caregivers. Caregivers’ levels of emotional responsiveness, consistency, and availability can shape how a person seeks emotional closeness and responds to relational stress.

Attachment is not about isolated incidents. Rather, it evolves over time, reflecting a developing child’s sense of whether their emotional and physical needs are likely to be met. When these needs are fulfilled with reliability, a sense of security can develop. On the other hand, inconsistency or emotional neglect may lead to patterns that prioritize self-protection over connection.

The four main attachment styles

There are four widely recognized adult attachment styles, each representing a combination of behaviors, emotional responses, and relational tendencies.

• Secure attachment style: A secure attachment style is marked by comfort with both closeness and autonomy. Individuals are generally trusting, emotionally available, and open to giving and receiving support.
• Anxious attachment style: An anxious attachment style is primarily characterized by a preoccupation with closeness and a fear of abandonment. Individuals with this attachment style often seek constant reassurance and may experience heightened emotional sensitivity in relationships.
• Avoidant attachment style: An individual with an avoidant attachment style usually exhibits emotional distancing and self-reliance. People with this style may appear detached or uninterested in intimacy, often viewing dependence as weakness.
• Disorganized (fearful-avoidant) attachment: This style combines aspects of both anxious and avoidant styles. There may be a deep longing for intimacy, paired with fear and confusion about how to achieve it.

Each style exists on a continuum. It is not uncommon for someone to recognize traits from multiple categories in themselves, especially when under stress or during relational upheaval.

What is an avoidant attachment style?

The avoidant attachment style tends to emerge when early caregivers provide physical care but lack emotional availability. In such environments, children may adapt by minimizing their emotional needs, leading them to become emotionally self-sufficient as a survival mechanism. Over time, this adaptation can lead individuals to approach relationships with caution or distance.

Adults with this attachment style may avoid vulnerability, suppress their own emotions, and view emotional intimacy as unnecessary or even threatening. Although they may appear confident or independent, this independence may serve as a psychological shield from rejection or disappointment.

While avoidance may offer short-term emotional protection, it can interfere with the ability to form meaningful relationships. Over time, chronic suppression of feelings and resistance to connection may contribute to a sense of isolation, inner conflict, and unacknowledged emotional distress.

Dismissive-avoidant attachment

One form of the avoidant style, dismissive-avoidant attachment, usually involves a conscious or unconscious dismissal of the value of emotional closeness. Individuals with this pattern often perceive themselves as self-sufficient and may downplay the importance of intimacy. They might present as emotionally detached, particularly in situations that require vulnerability.

This attachment style is typically rooted in early experiences where a caregiver met the child’s basic physical needs but did not attune to the child’s emotions. As a result, the developing child learns to minimize expressions of emotional need and distrust closeness.

Though these strategies are adaptive in origin, they can limit the individual’s capacity to fully engage in romantic relationships or friendships. The internal belief that one must manage their emotions alone often leads to difficulty receiving support or trusting others, which can impact a person’s mental health over time.

Fearful-avoidant attachment

Often referred to as disorganized attachment, the fearful-avoidant attachment style reflects a more conflicted experience of closeness. Individuals may both desire and fear intimacy. This ambivalence often originates from traumatic or unpredictable childhood environments where the child’s caregiver was a source of both comfort and fear.

In relationships, this may present as:

• Intense, quickly shifting emotions
• Difficulty regulating attachment needs
• Alternating between closeness and withdrawal

Fearful-avoidant attachment often leads to relational patterns that seem unstable or confusing, both for the individual and their partner. Emotional turbulence, combined with a difficulty to establish trust, can contribute to an increased vulnerability to anxiety disorders, depression, and other psychological symptoms.

Anxious attachment style

The anxious attachment style, sometimes called preoccupied or anxious-ambivalent attachment, may arise from inconsistent caregiving. When a caregiver is unpredictably responsive, a child may develop a heightened sensitivity to signs of abandonment. This can lead to hypervigilance in adult relationships.

Adults with this pattern may:

• Constantly seek reassurance
• Fear abandonment, even in secure relationships
• Have trouble calming down after conflict

While these individuals often crave emotional intimacy, their behaviors may inadvertently strain relationships. Without strategies for self-regulation, a constant need for closeness and reassurance can contribute to emotional exhaustion or dissatisfaction.

Does your attachment style form as a child? 

According to children’s attachment theory, the blueprint for relational patterns begins in early life. A child’s attachment style is typically shaped by repeated experiences of safety or neglect. Over time, these interactions become internalized, forming mental models of what to expect from others.

Attachment styles are not permanently fixed. While they often begin in childhood, they can be influenced by later experiences with friendships, romantic partnerships, and therapeutic relationships. However, dismissive or avoidant attachment styles developed in childhood can become a source of emotional tension when left unaddressed. In this way, awareness often becomes the first step toward transformation.

The mental health impact of attachment style on a child

A child’s attachment style often plays a significant role in shaping their emotional development. Children with a secure attachment style tend to develop stronger emotional regulation skills, resilience, and social confidence. 

In contrast, those with an insecure attachment style may have difficulties with low self-esteem, anxiety, trusting others, and forming relationships. These early patterns can influence a child’s mental health and behavior, both at home and in school.

How does attachment style impact adult mental health?

There is increasing recognition that adult attachment styles may be associated with certain mental health challenges. Patterns of avoidance, anxiety, or confusion in relationships can shape how individuals perceive themselves and interact with others. Insecure styles, particularly dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and anxious attachment styles, may be associated with a higher risk of depression, anxiety disorders, and interpersonal difficulties.

Other ways in which avoidant attachment can affect psychological well-being might include the following:

• Reduced access to emotional support due to relational distance
• Challenges identifying and expressing emotions
• Increased risk of loneliness and internalized distress

Additionally, insecure attachment may impact self-esteem and coping strategies. When early relationships have taught an individual that their feelings are not welcome or safe, internal conflicts around connection often surface. In contrast, individuals with a secure attachment style tend to possess more emotional resilience and greater relational satisfaction.

Coping with anxious and avoidant attachment styles

Although attachment styles may be deeply ingrained, they are not unchangeable. With intentional reflection, awareness, and support, individuals can learn to develop relational patterns that feel safer and more fulfilling.

For those navigating an avoidant attachment style, the strategies below may be helpful:

• Acknowledging emotional needs without judgment
• Challenging assumptions that vulnerability equates to weakness
• Building tolerance for emotional discomfort in close relationships

Similarly, individuals with anxious tendencies may benefit from the following:

• Strengthening self-soothing techniques
• Cultivating internal sources of security
• Building communication skills that foster trust rather than demanding reassurance

Developing a secure attachment style

Moving toward a more secure attachment style often requires time, patience, and consistency. It may involve unlearning patterns that were once protective but are now limiting. 

Below are a few strategies that may support this shift:

• Forming connections with emotionally attuned individuals
• Engaging in honest self-reflection about relational patterns
• Learning to name and express emotions clearly

Trust and a sense of safety do not necessarily emerge overnight. However, through small moments of connection and intentional reflection on internal reactions, secure attachment can grow.

How therapy can help

Therapy aims to offer a structured and supportive environment for individuals to explore their own emotions and relationship history. A skilled therapist can help clients identify underlying patterns, offer insight, and support the development of a more secure attachment style.

Therapy can provide a helpful experience for individuals and families. Over time, the therapeutic relationship itself (the bond between the therapist and client) can model the kind of attunement and stability that promotes healing.

The mental health benefits of online therapy

For individuals seeking treatment flexibility, online therapy may offer a more accessible option that can be equally as effective as in-person therapy for addressing symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders, which can be common in those with insecure attachment styles. The structure of telehealth platforms typically allows users to access professional care with fewer logistical barriers. 

Notable features of online therapy may include those listed below:

• No commuting or time spent in waiting rooms
• Thousands of available therapists, increasing the likelihood of a good match
• Fast matching (often in as little as 48 hours)
• Sessions that can occur from the comfort of home
• The ability to switch therapists as needed for no additional cost