Douglas Fogel, Psy.D.

Additional Training with EFT Supervision completed

202.669.3825doug.fogel@gmail.comMalePacificSourceMost couples I work with are wrestling with some combination of anxiety, depression, anger, and being “stuck”. In addition, they are sometimes struggling to figure out what is most meaningful and important with regard to being in a romantic relationship. With other couples, their goals and values may be clear, but they find themselves running into psychological barriers such as fear and avoidance. I truly believe that neither partner is to blame for their struggles as a couple. Instead, I place the blame clearly on the traps couples fall into; the cycles they unwittingly enact again and again as they see no other way out. My job is to shed light on how to emerge from these destructive cycles and my main tool is a predominantly emotional focus–helping to unearth the feelings that each partner is unable or unwilling to communicate to the other. When couples are in this trap they often get little from the other that they can connect with, or warm to, in order to begin breaking the cycle. Most of our work will be to go underneath the defenses (such as criticism or withdrawal) we use to protect ourselves from pain and to realize that, ironically, these defenses have become the problem. We will be accessing the hurt, sadness, fear, shame and the desire for intimacy (as well as the opposing need for autonomy) that underlie the anger and “checking out” that often occur when you are both stuck.